Therapy for Disorganized Attachment in Fort Worth & Across Texas
Cultivate the connection and relationships you want.
Therapy for disorganized attachment in Fort Worth and across all of Texas. Walk and talk therapy available in Fort Worth and online therapy available in Texas.
It is difficult to imagine being able to ever fully trust anyone.
You carry around the heavy fear that the people you let in will eventually harm or betray you, so you keep your guard up.
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Once they see you, they might not stick around.
Or if they know who you really are they could use that against you.
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The pause and long silence before they reply means they don’t actually want you.
Their text didn’t include an exclamation point so they are not actually excited to see you.
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If you truly let your guard down and let someone get close, then they will have power over you and can hurt you.
It takes a lot for you to trust, so when you finally do let others in it means a lot more to you than it does to them.
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If you allow yourself to get close you get scared and pull away or sabotage the connection.
If you notice someone getting too close to you, you might feel repulsed and back away.
Relationships can become a place you feel safe and connected.
What is Attachment Therapy?
Attachment therapy focuses on exploring how you experience connection and relationships with others. It is rooted in the belief that your earliest relationships shaped how you experience all other relationships. Together, we will explore:
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We will explore the emotions and patterns you currently experience in your relationships.
The dynamics and experiences that activate you will help us understand your experience on a deeper level.
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We will explore your earliest relationships with your parents or caregivers with curiosity and compassion.
Understanding the impact of those first connections will bring more clarity to dynamics in your current relationships.
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For disorganized attachment there is often a core wound of betrayal. The earliest connection in your life came with harm.
This can make it very difficult to let down your walls and let others in. So, we will explore what it is like for you to imagine trusting and allowing others to see and know you.
And also explore ways to identify red flags in someone and how to set boundaries in relationships, so that you have practical tools to honor your mind and body in relationships.
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As you grow toward a secure attachment with yourself and others we will explore what you value and need in relationships.
This will build strong foundation for you to know the types of people and relationships you want to cultivate in your life.
What is Disorganized Attachment?
Disorganized attachment (sometimes referred to as fearful avoidant attachment) is often defined as having a strong desire for closeness and connection, but feeling terrified of it. Your caregiver was most likely a source of fear and distress. These are some common feelings experienced by those with an disorganized attachment style:
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You grew up with one or more unstable caregivers. This means you knew that you could not count on them to love and show up for you in the way you needed.
So, you find yourself constantly scanning for that to happen again in your present relationships.
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You desire to be understood and known in deep connection, but the thought of actually letting yourself be seen for who you truly are is terrifying.
As a child growing up you were vulnerable and your parent or caregiver was not a safe person to be around. This means your body now fears that being vulnerable again could lead to the same lack of safety and betrayal.
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Growing up in abuse, neglect, and/or trauma means that you have a difficult time trusting anyone.
You know hurt and betrayal well and the thought that someone could actually be safe, consistent, and available does not feel possible to you.
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You might let yourself open up and get close to someone then abruptly pull away or shut them out.
Being close to someone else brings up all of your hurt and fears, so you pull back to protect yourself.
How Attachment Therapy Helps
Attachment therapy will help you explore your disorganized attachment style and understand how it impacts you and your relationships. Together, we will help you grow toward secure attachment by focusing on:
What feelings surface for you in our therapeutic relationship.
Learn what tools help you feel more grounded and connected to yourself.
Identify what dynamics and experiences trigger you in relationships.
Grieve and heal the core wounds that caused you to be afraid of connection.
My Approach to Disorganized Attachment
Build safety in our space together first.
Your core wound of being hurt and betrayed in relationships makes it vital that we grow trust in our therapeutic space together. We will go at your pace and follow your lead in what and how you want to share your experience. Overtime as you see consistency, care, and curiosity in our space together your body and mind will experience a relationship where you feel more at ease and safe staying connected to someone.
Clarify what you need and want in relationships.
It is important to know when a relationship is not aligned with your relational needs and values. Disorganized attachment can mean that you tend to stay in relationships that are harming you as that harm is familiar to what you experienced growing up. Clarifying your values and needs will help you identify dynamics that are working against your wellbeing and give you the courage to choose differently.
Heal and process your underlying pain.
Growing up with a caregiver you felt afraid of is an overwhelming experience. Together we will help you explore those past stories and experiences with compassion and understanding. Having a safe place to be listened to and cared for is the opposite of what you received growing up. Healing and grieving the harm of what you experienced in a safe relationship will help you create a new experience in your mind and body.
Therapy for Disorganized Attachment: How it Works
Book a Free Consultation
This consultation is where I can hear more about the support you need from therapy and we can determine if we are a good fit to work together.
Understand Your Patterns
In our first session, I'll ask about your history and what you want to focus on in our work. From here, we will explore where you are struggling in relationships. Together, we will bring understanding and clarity to the patterns keeping you stuck. As we understand your patterns we can unpack where they began in your earliest relationships and how that has impacted you.
Curiosity and Consistency
From there, we will help you grow a secure attachment to yourself. As therapy becomes a space where there is consistency and curiosity you will start to be able to offer that to yourself. When you relate to yourself with more compassion and curiosity you will have more capacity to heal, notice when you are activated, and make different choices in your relationships.
Cultivate the Connection You Want
As you feel more grounded in your relationship to yourself, you will feel more confident connecting with others. You will be able to implement tools to feel more at ease in your body and mind when an experience or comment brings up emotions for you. You will also have more clarity around what you need in a relationship and the skills to communicate that.
FAQs
Do you have questions about therapy for disorganized attachment? Check out these frequently asked questions. If you don’t see your question here, click here to get in touch.
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Yes, I provide online attachment therapy for anyone located in Texas.
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Yes, I provide walk and talk therapy in Fort Worth, Texas.
We will meet online first to get to know one another and ensure walk and talk therapy is a good fit for you, then we can move to outside sessions.
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I go into more detail on each attachment style on these pages listed below. Sometimes a person has the same attachment style across all relationships. Other times you might be anxious with friends, but avoidant in romantic relationships.
For disorganized attachment notice if you resonate with these patterns:
You want closeness, but feel terrified of it.
You are worried that someone is going to hurt or betray you if you let them get close enough.
Your parent or caregiver was someone you feared.
You have a history of trauma, neglect, or abuse.
Your relationships tend to feel chaotic and unpredictable.
Therapy for Anxious Attachment